The CONSENT Game

DEAR MEN,

Imagine if you were as disgusted with rape as you are with periods.

Sincerely,
Sandra Ware


Greetings and Salutations, (Reference to the 80s movie Heathers, if you haven't seen it- but it on you're movie bucket list. Everyone has one.)

A lot of this blog is about promoting awareness because there is a strong since that people aren't aware of certain things, and even if they are, they have no idea how those certain things might effect people other than themselves.

Before we get to far ahead, I would like to issue a TRIGGER WARNING.

For those who aren't 100% sure of what exactly that means, let me just entail that a trigger warning lets people know when you are about to talk about something that might bring up trauma for them.

I issued this trigger warning today because the topic I want to unfold on this wall focuses on rape and rape culture...

In my previous blogs I mentioned some things that will connect to this like the fact that it doesn't matter what a girl is wearing, that should never be an excuse for harassing her, and the fact that males can be sexually assaulted to and shouldn't be shunned when they want to speak out on it.

I generally don't understand why it is so hard for people to put the blame on rapists; if it wasn't for them, the rape would of never happened.



We live in a society where you are supposedly innocent until proven guilty but it's time to acknowledge when people weren't innocent to begin with.

Being sexually assaulted is not something that comes up easy in conversation, but it helps to talk about it. It not only will help the person move on with their life but it will also draw more attention to the problem and hopefully help lead to possible solutions.

I don't know how but some people get confused when it comes to classifying rape. Like...what?
One way you identify a rape is the fact that there was no consent established before the incident occurred.

The word of the day is NO.

If you hear it, that means...

  

Honestly, what is so difficult about that?

In general, people view rapist as old men with strange clothes and glasses but...

(Rapist/ Murderer from the movie The Lovely Bones, also put it on your movie bucket list.)


Rapist can be women too!

In any event, rape is the most escalated form of sexual harassment and can happen to anybody at anytime.

There is no such thing as...
-Being too UGLY to be raped
-Being too OLD to be raped
-Being too STRONG to be raped.

No.

This whole tragic event can occur when someone is really bad at playing what is known as "the consent game" which is fairly simple. The only objective is the get the person you want to have intercourse with to say yes before you start the act, if that doesn't happen, than guess what - YOU LOSE.

Let's talk about SEX - uality!

DEAR MEN,

Stop losing your shit every time you are rejected by a girl. And stop assuming that if she doesn't like you, she's probably a lesbian. She might be gay, or she just might not be into assholes.

Sincerely,

Sandra Ware

Hello again.

By this point you have probably realized that my blogs are more towards open minded and less in favor of... 

*cough* ignorance *cough*

~Excuse me, I have a cold even when I'm typing.

Anyway - Today's lesson is about SEXUALITY.

Now, let me just get something out of the way first:

Okay, we can begin to dive into this pool. I hope you bought your feminist googles with you.

Correction, sexuality as a whole isn't exactly a pool. It's more like a freaking ocean. Sexuality is like a vast sea with a million type of creatures living underneath it. There is more to sexual preferences than being straight, gay or bi. Allow me to expand those horizons for you. Also keep in mind that there are a lot so I won't be able to elaborate on all of them, and some of them might sound similar, but trust me there's always a slight difference.

Without further ado here is the 411 with sexuality...

You can be asexual and not like anybody.

You can be pan-sexual and like basically everybody.

You can be demisexual and only be into people who've you developed a previous bond with. It doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic one. 

You can also be lithromantic which means you like to fall in love with with people but you don't want them to fall in love with you.

You can even be skoliosexual. Which means your type are people who don't like to identify with any gender.

There's probably like a thousand more where those came from. But at the end of the day, those are labels. Identify yourself however you want, don't let anyone or society make that decision for you. As long as you’re happy, that's all that should matter.

LIKE A GIRL?

DEAR MEN,

Feminism isn't about making women strong, we're already strong. It's about changing the way society perceives our strength.

Sincerely,
Sandra Ware


Another pet peeve of mine, besides the whole cat-calling thing I mentioned earlier is this worn out phrase that goes: "You hit like a girl." In fact, just about any insult that follows with the phrase 'like a girl' irritates the shit out of me and it needs to before the next generation hears it.

FOR YEARS, I have heard people tell boys, "Don't do that, you hit, sound, act, look, hit, cry and run like a girl" but here is what they are actually telling them:

-You're weak
-You're pathetic
-You're stupid
You're incapable of doing anything for yourself
-You're worthless
-You look like a little bitch

If you think anyone of those statements would hurt you if someone said that to you, than you should understand why using the term 'like a girl' is insulting as hell.

The worst irony of all is when little girls, are told not to act like girls.

Pause.

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? WHO MADE THIS PHRASE UP? WHERE IS THEIR GRAVE SO I CAN KICK IT?

Anyway, you must also be familiar with the more vulgar phrase: "Stop acting like a pussy." Well, we also call people 'dicks' when they act very arrogant but it's not exactly a win-win situation.

You see, being called a pussy is just another way of being called feminine and being classified as feminine comes with the misconception that you have no strength at all. Well, let me just deliver this little reality check to your virtual mailbox:

-Pussies (Or Pussys, I'm not sure on the technical plural form of that) a.k.a vaginas are actually strong as hell. They push babies out. Women have been know to push eight freaking babies out in one day, now the penis on the other hand, I'm sure has a few nice advantages but it's constantly in fear of someone kicking it in or getting caught in a zipper. If someone was keeping score...

That's

Team Pussy: 1
Team Dick: 0

Well, the I would vote to have the "like a girl" phrase removed from our society for good but the second best idea I've heard is to restore it with a positive meaning, such as what this commercial for Always is showcasing.

This literally does not get enough recognition. It's about time we recognize this, because even microaggresions can be dangerous and oppressive in this type of world we live in.

Oh, Microaggression?

What are those?

Okay to put the definition in plain terms are everyday snubs, insults we make at people without even realizing that they are offensive. Enjoy these examples of microaggressions.

"You're really smart for a black kid."

"You have a lot of muscles for a girl."

"You have a large butt for white girl."

"Your house is really clean for a Hispanic."

"Your eyes are really big for an Asian."

And the list could go on forever, the point is, don't say them.